This post has nothing to do with Martial Arts.
First and foremost, I want to say that sometimes emotions don't make a lot of sense. They don't always have to. Of course there is usually a reason. I feel _____ because _____. Even so, my mom always told me, emotions are not right or wrong, they just are, you don't have to justify them, its ok to be happy or sad. I largely agree with her. I have had many counselors who have said the same thing.
Second, I want to say that depression in particular doesn't always make a lot of sense. Sometimes you just feel really sad and you don't know why. This is miserable. You feel helpless and sad and overwhelmed. Sometimes you feel guilty for being sad because you think you have nothing to feel sad about. You feel frustrated because of your lack of productivity. You may actually be being productive, but you can't see because you have these lame ass blinders on. You try to focus, you try to be positive and happy. You can't shake it.
Sometimes depression comes with feelings of total worthlessness and self hatred. Its not really logical or justifiable. You just feel like the world would be better off without you. You don't want to talk to anyone because you don't want to 'bother' them or 'burden them with your troubles'. Your friends are all happy people, you don't want to bring them down with you, no reason for them to suffer too...
All this going on in your head. "I hate myself, I have accomplished nothing, I am so worthless, I have done nothing with the last hour, day, week, month, year, etc. Everyone would just be better off if I wasn't around." etc etc etc
Sometimes you snap out of it, sometimes you don't.
These may sound really silly, to some of you out there, but I can assure sometimes the dark pit of hopelessness is very real and very consuming. While sometimes un-explainable these feelings are very crippling and can feel incredibly overwhelming.
The good news?
It is OK to ask for help! Talk to a trusted friend or parent, seek counseling, let someone know how you are feeling and they can help you or help you try to find the help you need. No matter how bleak it seems, you will be ok, things will get better. Sometimes, you just need someone to talk to, and sometimes just talking helps. If you can talk it out and get things off your chest, you'll be amazed how much better you feel after.
The point is, don't feel bad, embarrassed or ashamed. Everyone needs help sometimes. It is ok to ask. If you're feeling depressed, please talk to someone.