Friday, November 4, 2011

Where does the time go?

So. Been a while. I have too much going on.

Sensei Nick is left the country today. It'll be down to just me and Musashi in the house. : /

I start my new job on Monday. I got some seasonal work to help pay the bills. Graphic Design freelance work is rather patchy lately...

I need to stay focused. I have a lot to do. Its really hard not to lose motivation when Sensei Nick is out of the country, but I need to make sure I stay motivated and on task because I really want to achieve my goal of being a Martial Arts Instructor someday. I feel like I never have enough time to work on stuff. And that kills me because the sad thing is, I don't watch T.V., I don't play video games very often (maybe once or twice a month at this point), I don't go clubbing or hanging out with friends very often, etc. Where the hell does all my time go???

Obviously, helping run a house, it goes to helping Sensei Nick with paperwork and errands, cooking, helping out with family needs like taking the kids to school, picking them up, etc. But still, I must say I am feeling very discouraged this afternoon.

Anyway, Here are some of the projects I currently have going on.

  • Website stuff: 
    • Updating the GMA website and making tweaks as necessary: Our updated information!
    • Getting my own personal domain issues sorted out so I can get TiffaniSahara.com back up and running as well as TiffaniSaharaCreative. Effectively the same website, just different names. 
    • The larger project here is really that I need to learn wordpress. T.T
  • Working on PowerLineDesigns and Graphic Design
    • coming up with new designs and ideas for merchandise on cafepress, zazzle, imagekind, etc. for Power Line Designs
    • Design and make a new flyer for Main Street Martial Arts
    • Design an identity and related materials for a potential project
  • Continuing to fix up the house (lofty goals, but still, I like to aim high):
    • Have most of, if not the entire, interior of the house painted by the time Sensei Nick gets back.
    • Replace all interior doors and molding
  • Martial Arts (last but not least)
    • Do all my kata every day
    • Reread and review "Way of Kata"
    • Finish and review "How to Win a Fight"
    • Watch the Bunkai DVDs regarding the Heian/Pinan kata by Abernethy.
    • Continue to attend Aiki class twice a week
    • Work out with and learn from instructor who runs the dojo that Nick is currently teaching out of after hours. 
      • This will more or less function like an internship. While I am not intent on pursuing any ranks TaeKwonDo, the owner runs the entire school by herself and is need of a little bit of help. She is the only instructor and since Sensei Nick doesn't have an official school as such at the moment and I am in desperate need of teaching experience and more time in a dojo environment in general we talked to her about setting something up. She agreed to let me come in and shadow her for a few weeks and help her teach once I get some of the kata down and learn the ropes. It'll be a really sweet deal as long as my newly found seasonal work doesn't make that impossible. Which I will say I am very nervous about as I already told them I cannot work Monday or Tuesday evenings (as that is Aiki night) and they have already scheduled me for Monday close next week. :( 
    • Homework from Sensei Nick (In addition to watching Abernethy's Bunkai DVDs and Reading "Way of Kata" and "How to Win a Fight" and "Teaching the Martial Arts" if I have time, write out several fight scenes. Starting small, with just a few exchanges here and there, and going up. What do I think two guys with no training would look like fighting each other on the street. How about a beginner rank and a guy with no training, intermediate? advanced? Two advanced fighters? etc. Which means I also probably need to get and read Miller's "Violence, a Writer's Guide." *sigh 

Anyway, overall I think I just need to try to stay very focused and motivated. I WANT my kata to look better by the time Sensei Nick comes back. I WANT to be in better shape by the time Sensei Nick comes back. I want to earn my next ranks and display proficiency, skill, and understanding that any Sensei would be proud of.

Before he left Sensei Nick and I briefly discussed my current ranks. In Aikijutsu I am white belt with two stripes, effectively the equivalent of an orange belt as Nick's school only has two stripes till green belt. I am also an orange belt in Shotokan Karate. And soon to be learning TaeKwonDo. (I know, information overload right? Probably no the best way to study, but I need the teaching experience so I will take what I can get) I feel like every time I study Martial Arts I get RIGHT TO THIS POINT, and then either have to quit or start over. I have never been any higher than an orange belt. And I have been an orange belt many times. I am SICK OF IT. This is incredibly frustrating and upsetting to me. Granted, I know it isn't necessarily the color of the belt that denotes your skill/understanding/proficiency, etc. Nick and I have discussed several times that rank is only applicable from the school you received it from. A black belt from one school may not meet the same requirements or skill levels as a black belt from another school. In a way, its all very subjective. Either way, I WANT TO GET PAST THE BEGINNER RANKS! (And yes, I know, once you get your shodan it just means you have all the basics and you can really start learning, but you know what I mean, white through orange is generally considered beginner, then the next couple are intermediate and then brown is advanced, etc etc) I guess I want it as... as sort of a mile marker or something... something that means, YES, I am making progress, I am sticking with it, I do some understanding of what I am doing, etc.

I WANT to study and learn and be good. I want it desperately, but every time I get started down the Martial Path life comes along and throws a wrench in my spoke. Well, life, I've got news for you, NOT THIS TIME!

I don't want to say that I want a black belt, because I understand that the belt is not the goal, more so now than ever before, but I want to be skilled and proficient in Martial Arts. Particularly Aikijutsu and also Karate. I want it so bad I can almost taste it, I just have to make sure I stay focused and on task so that I can accomplish my goals. 

T.T I'm wearing myself out just thinking about all this stuff. More posts to come soon. 

~Samurai Girl Sahara

4 comments:

  1. To expand on what Josh said...

    Breather, relax, slow down.

    You have the time and resources to do what you want to do. Adversity serves to filter what you only think you want to do from what you really do.

    There is a wonderful little book named "The Art of Time". It is very short. You can knock it out in an afternoon.

    Most of the book has to do with the usual little time management nostrums, but it is the end of the book where the jewel is found.

    Have you ever noticed that somehow you have time for what you really love? An old friend suddenly comes into town and you manage to make the time to visit, for example.

    That's the secret. You've heard the advice to "do what you love". The collary is to love what you do. All of it. Even the things you don't especially like to do.

    You'll make yourself crazy trying to devise a perfect schedule. There's enough in life to make us crazy so we don't need to contribute more.

    Just ask yourself if you're "moving the ball forward" with everything you set your hand to.

    If not, why not? It's mostly just a change of attitude.

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  2. Try also "The Dance of Life" by Edward T. Hall. He has a section on Zen Buddhism and even uses a Aikido example to express how time really works.

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